Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize