There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
