My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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