I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
