This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
