I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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