i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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