I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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