Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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