Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
