you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
