I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
