3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
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