And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Everyone says I win the strip club
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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