Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
