we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
