I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize