dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
