are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
