ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
