Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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