Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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