im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
