Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
