Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
