Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
