they need to just BURY HIM!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
