apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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