Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize