I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
