Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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