Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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