Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You can't special order awesome
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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