I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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