It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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