I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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