I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Swine flu. Run for my life!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
