Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm just crazy horny about you
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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