their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sorry about my life...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
