there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
