If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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