no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
