it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
