Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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