I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
