Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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