Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize