chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
