You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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