Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
