Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
