Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
