Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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