hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
