Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
