You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Panties = found
Randomize
