Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize