Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
