you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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