Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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