You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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