Do you still have your period?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i barfeds in our rink
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
