Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
