so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Someone shattered a urinal.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
