shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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