i may or may not be watching the land before time
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
