HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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