what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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