i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
